Remembering Elizabeth
In 2020, we made it to our 50th anniversary at the height of Covid. We fell short of 55 this year by two months.A WOMAN IN FULL A wife, mother, friend, and advocate, Elizabeth Alunan has always shown grace, grit, and determinationI had the honor and privilege of serving my asawa of almost 55 years. This coming May 16 would have been our 55th.
Whenever we’d reminisce, she’d recall that when we first held hands and when I placed my arm around her waist, life was never the same for her again. Sigh. She was just 17 and, I, 18. We were in college then—she at Assumption and, I, at De La Salle. That changed everything. I recall her replying in a very friendly tone, “She’ll be out soon.” I learned later that Mother Esperanza and Tita Unding were good friends. Elizabeth and I tied the knot on May 16, 1970 at St. Andrew’s Church. She was 20. I turned 21 the next day.
In time, we mellowed and learned to forgive and forget. Forgiveness is so important to stay together. Forgetting is another story. Her elephant’s memory was terrifying! In those moments, I’d hug her, bend my knees, and raise both hands with elbows at my waist, like so, followed by heavy dog-like breaths. She’d melt. We’d laugh, hug, and kiss. And all was well again in the world.
She was tireless and steady as a rock. But those years took a toll on our marriage. Because my job required 24/7 devotion to duty, we drifted apart. Afraid of losing her and my children, I left government service in mid-1996 to spend a year at Harvard Kennedy. She’d suddenly fall even when being held. The pain in her body was constant. Our kasambahays helped her during the day while I took over at night. We moved her on a wheelchair. But through it all, Elizabeth showed amazing grace, grit, and determination. She was heroic. And so was my mother-in-law who kept her smiling and laughing.
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