'I'll never get to watch her grow up, I'll never get to know her like I was supposed to.'
— it didn't make the pain any more manageable."It's hard to talk about," she told Alison though tears."It's sad and frustrating, and even though I've madepeace with it, I'll never get to watch her grow up, I'll never get to know her like I was supposed to . . .
"It was really hard. At first we were grieving together and there for each other, but then Kyle was in the mindset of like, 'OK, this has happened, and it's sad and it sucks, but we have to move on.' And I could not physically, emotionally, [or] mentally move on," Samantha explained."That caused a lot of tension because I wanted to talk about it every day, and every day I was upset. And he was like, 'OK, we have to move on.
As you can imagine, the feelings of frustration also translated into the bedroom. Being intimate with Kyle began to seem like a job, rather than something they did purely out of love. "With all the hormones and obsessiveness about having a child, it was like, making love was gone," Samantha confessed."It was just a job, it was a chore, it was so much pressure. I felt like the littlest thing would set me off, and that was hard, and then it would set Kyle off, and it was just fights over nothing. Fights because we were both so frustrated with not being able to get pregnant that we'd pick fights with each other over stupid stuff: dishes, laundry.
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