'I’m grateful that I had what it took to wake up, I’m angry that they thought they could get away with that, I’m disgusted to have been a part of it, and I’m proud of myself for standing up to them. It’s all of those things depending on the day.'
"Hey, I get it. If this hadn’t happened to me, I would have been the first to say, “What an idiot. Why didn’t she just leave?” The answer is that indoctrination is incredibly powerful. If you look at the branding ritual as an example, they convince you that you are triumphing over your own weakness. One of the things that can be helpful in terms of an explanation is to look at the ways in which cults are similar to abusive relationships.
You eventually became one of Nxivm’s top saleswomen, recruiting morethan 2,000 members. What was your pitch? "Well, first things first: You don’t attempt any kind of a pitch until you have established a rapport. That’s something that has always come naturally to me, just chit chatting and engaging with people. Part of pitching is that you kind of want to tailor the approach to the specific person and what they’re looking for. Are you up for some role-play?""Okay, so you’re a journalist and maybe you’re telling me what you want to achieve in your career.
"Part of it is the Greek chorus. New members don’t generally meet Keith until they’ve done several levels of training. Some people don’t meet him for two years and during that time they have been worshiping him. We say, “Thank you, Vangaurd,” which is how we referred to him, at the end of every seminar. He was totally deified. It’s not like I thought he was a hot stud or anything. I just respected his beliefs. Or what I thought were his beliefs.
"It’s a mixed bag. Sometimes it’s “Fuck you, Keith,” and other times it’s, “You messed with the wrong person,” and other times it’s, “Thank god this happened” otherwise I’d still be in ESP pushing that BS. I’m grateful that I had what it took to wake up, I’m angry that they thought they could get away with that, I’m disgusted to have been a part of it, and I’m proud of myself for standing up to them. It’s all of those things depending on the day.
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