#3- early sexual behavior.
Over the course of our time, I learned that she had been abandoned by her father in early."He just moved away and found a new family," she said one day, her anger turning into a new-to-her feeling of sadness. Not knowing how to cope with the difficult feelings that encompassed her since he left, Joanne struggled with interpersonal relationships, often getting into arguments and, most recently, physical fights with peers.
Over time, she was able to learn how to better manage some of the negative feelings she experienced, eventually replacing her previous behaviors with safer coping skills. But the anger, sadness, and feelings of abandonment plagued her well into adulthood. "If he didn't care about me enough to stay and take care of me, why should I care about myself?" she said one day. The room stayed still, the air between us felt heavy. How could I convince this young girl that she was worthy of love and respect when the person who was supposed to love and care for her had left her?
Joanne's story, while heartbreaking, is a common one among many of my clients. As a therapist who works with survivors of relational trauma, I have many clients who have experienced parental abandonment or the departure of a. This can happen for a multitude of reasons: imprisonment, death, physical separation. Sometimes the parent leaves due not to choice or fault of their own.
But the most devastating losses are those in which caregivers left voluntarily. Joanne's father left at a time when she was old enough to have a bond with him yet young enough to internalize his leaving into self-blame and stunted emotional growth.
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