1. Don’t stay in relationships that don’t make you happy
I spent more than half of my life with the man I married, and because of our lengthy history, I never imagined that one day I would find myself a single mom to three young kids. But then two years ago, suddenly, I was. I left my husband and within a year I was raising my three kids ages five, three and one—all by myself., money became tight and my time with my kids dwindled. I became more stressed and often wondered how I would be able to get everything done on my own.
Amid an ugly divorce, my kids witnessed a lot of things—some of which I wish I could erase from their memories entirely. But my kids also saw their mom standing up for herself, leaving a bad situation even if it was scary and the future was unknown. One thing I wanted to make sure my kids understood was that if someone loves you, they treat you with respect. I want to model what a healthy, loving,should look like.
But the reality is, we all need a hand sometimes. And knowing how and when to ask for help is probably one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned. Just because I can do something by myself doesn’t mean I should. I want my kids to learn that accepting someone’s help is a sign that you are in tune with your own needs and you understand that taking care of your family sometimes requires outsourcing.
I also want to show my kids that it’s important to take a break in life and that saying “no” when your plate is too full is OK. Being a single mom has forced me to take a hard look at the constant moving parts of our lives that I am frantically attempting to keep moving smoothly. Sometimes, our day starts and ends on schedule and everything falls into place like a well-oiled machine. But, other times, everything comes to a screeching halt and I’m forced to break out my tool box and fix it.
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